BRAIN TEASERS

1. Can you decipher this rebus?

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2. Can you decipher this?

       + DEEF

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3. Can you decipher this phrase?

       Friends
       Standing
       Miss
       Friends

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4. Can you decipher this phrase?

O_er_t_o_

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5. Who Am I?

oLr
elt elt elt elt elt
elt elt elt elt elt
elt elt elt elt elt

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6. What common phrase does this represent?

    Interrogator, "Who stole the gold?"
       Parsley,"..."
       Sage,"..."
       Rosemary,"..."
       Thyme,"It was Basil."

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7. What is 3/7 Chicken, 2/3 Cat, & 1/2 Goat?

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A man is talking to the family doctor. "Doc, I think my wife's going deaf."

The doctor answers, "Well, here's something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn't answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. Then you'll be able to tell just how hard of hearing she really is."

The man goes home and tries it out. He walks in the door and says, "Honey, what's for dinner?" He doesn't hear an answer, so he moves closer to her. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Still no answer. He repeats this several times, until he's standing just a few feet away from her.

Finally, she answers, "For the eleventh time, I said we're having MEATLOAF!"

http://www.cleanjoke.com

A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground.

He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other hunter frantically whips out his cell phone and fumbles while dialing 911

Nearly hysterical, the frantic hunter, in tears, screams that his hunting partner is dead.

"He's Dead! He's Dead! What can I do?"

The operator, trying to calm him says , "Take it easy. I can help. Just listen to me and follow my instructions.

First, let's make sure he's dead. There's a short pause, and then the operator hears a loud gun shot!...

The hunter comes back on the line and says,
"OK, now what?"

A driver is stopped by a police officer.

The driver asks "What's the problem officer?"

Officer:: "You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone."

Man "No sir, I was only doing 65."

Wife: "Oh, Harry. You were going 80."(The man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Officer: "I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light."

Man: "Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!"

Wife: "Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks."(The man gives his wife another dirty look.)

Officer: "I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seatbelt."

Man: "Oh I just took it off when you were walking up to the car."

Wife: "Oh Harry, you never wear your seatbelt."

The man turns to his wife and yells, "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"

The Officer turns to the woman and asks, "Ma'am, does your husband talk to you this way all the time?"

The wife says "No sir, only when he's drunk."

www.funnyandjokes.com

A blonde was driving home when a guy pulled her over. The guy says, "Get out of the car and stand in this circle or something awful is going to happen to you."

So, while the blonde is standing in the circle the guy is taking stuff from her car and transporting it to his car. Then the blonde started laughing hysterically. The guy asks, "Why are you laughing? The blonde ignores him and he says, "Whatever…" and continues to rob her car.

The blonde starts laughing again. "Why R U laughing again!" She again ignores him. Then just as the guy is about to drive away, the blonde starts laughing a third time

Ok… that's it… What's your problem," the guy shouts???

Well, the blonde says,, "When you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle three times!"

The Lone Ranger and Tonto stopped in the desert for the night. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?"

The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."

Tonto is silent for a moment, then says, "Kemo Sabe, you are dumber than buffalo crap. It means someone stole tent."

Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Bubba said, Shingles. So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aid came out and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, Shingles. So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, Shingles. So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, shingles.
The doctor asked, Where?

Bubba said, "Outside on the truck. Where do you want them???!!!"?

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